did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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