with your own penis?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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