I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
You pole danced in your parka.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
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