id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
