TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize