Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize