Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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