Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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