We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
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i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
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He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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