i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
