if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
