I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize