Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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