Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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