the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
