I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
