Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
