So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
