Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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