Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
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My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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