just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
