covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
