Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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