I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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