During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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