made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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