Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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