I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
