They should really pass out barf bags in church
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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