I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
