My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
