I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I am available for nakedness
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
