You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
