I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
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