It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
