I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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