She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
