He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
