So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
