Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
