there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
