is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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