16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Randomize
