So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
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I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
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The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize