How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
