Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Randomize
