Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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