hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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