Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
