The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
