why didn't you poke me back
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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