Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I want a musical about memes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
