dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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