is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
