She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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