She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
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So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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