"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
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Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
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I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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