There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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