porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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