Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
