Where is the hickey?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
