stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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